Happy and Blue 2

Chapter 83
So, in the end it hadn’t been Mr. Pepper who had stolen the ring after all.

It was his brother Mr. Pepper.

Mary chuckled to herself at her mistake.

“I bet Mr. Pepper is mad at me for all the trouble my mistake caused him. I should apologize to him when they release him from the Federal Penitentiary on Friday.”

But then she realized that she still had 8 years left on the restraining order she had placed against him.

And having that removed would require her to go back to court.

“No more court” she said to herself. “15 years of court cases and all those parole hearings I had to attend to stop him from being released. I’m done with court.”

“Perhaps I’ll just buy myself some handguns and a rifle instead. Better safe than sorry.”

And grabbing her coat from the hook at the front door off she skipped to the gun shop…

Chapter 1
Timmy pushed the tooth with his tongue and it moved. He pushed with his tongue again and out it popped. After bouncing on the floor a few times it ended up in the dog’s water dish.

“What to do? What to do? Timmy screamed in his head.

“I must find my Mommy. She will know what to do” he decided to himself.

But where was his Mommy?

Timmy scanned the kitchen to see if she was there. But he didn’t see her.

After about an hour of scanning he noticed she was sitting at the table.

“Mommy my tooth fell out.” said Timmy.

“It’s a baby tooth.” replied his Mommy looking up from her crossword puzzle.
“Baby teeth have to fall out to make room for your adult teeth.”

“Oh” said Timmy. “Well that explains it then.”

“Keep the tooth and put it under your pillow tonight” said his Mommy. “The Tooth Fairy will come and give you money for it”

Just then the family dog came into the kitchen and headed for his water dish.

“Noooooo” screamed Timmy.

To be continued…..

Do you want your blog to be popular? Do you want it to be so popular that people quit calling it a blog and start referring to it as a site? Do you lack the knowledge to make it popular?

Well, if you do want to be popular then fear not. I will explain exactly what you need to do to reach that goal.

There are a lot of “buzzwords” out there made up by people who are trying to steer you in the wrong direction to get more traffic to your site. Seriously “buzzwords” sounds like something that a bee would come up with. And what do bees know? Nothin honey..

Here is the foolproof way to get lots of comments.

Create a chain post system.

“Whaaaaat???” you ask..

A chain post is exactly like a chain letter. You remember those don’t you?
Someone sends you a letter (using email) and says that you will be lucky if you forward the email to 10 of your gullible friends.

And if you don’t forward the email then you will break the chain and you will rip the crotch out of your pants while you are giving a presentation to the board of directors or something. And everyone will laugh at you. And your new name with the organization will be Mr.( or Mrs, Miss,Ms., et.al) LOSER..

“So what does that have to do with my blog posts?” you ask.

Well, everything of course.

Create a chain post. Include a note at the bottom that says:

If you get 10 of your gullible friends to comment on this post you will be lucky.

And if you don’t get 10 of your friends to comment on this post then you will break the chain and you will rip the crotch out of your pants while you are giving a presentation to the board of directors or something. And everyone will laugh at you. And your new name with the organization will be Mr.( or Mrs, Miss,Ms., et.al) LOSER..

Simple isn’t it.

What are your thoughts?

ps: If you get 10 of your gullible friends to comment on this post you will be lucky.

And if you don’t get 10 of your friends to comment on this post then you will break the chain and you will rip the crotch out of your pants while you are giving a presentation to the board of directors or something. And everyone will laugh at you. And your new name with the organization will be Mr.( or Mrs, Miss,Ms., et.al) LOSER..

“The sky is falling” said Chicken Lanna. And then she laughed. As did all the other chickens in the farmyard. It’s an old chicken joke. But in the world of chickens it’s still a good joke.

“Hey look” she continued. “There’s that farmers wife.”

“She’s sure getting fat” said Lanna’s friend Nora.
“I bet she’ll be on the menu for Easter.”

“Cluuuuck….” said Lanna. “I think she’s going to lay an egg”
I’m assuming that “Cluuuuck” is the chicken equivalent of “Duh” but since I don’t speak Chicken I may be wrong.

“Ha, replied Nora. “Human women think that having an egg is so hard.”
“Try having one every day Cluck Cluck.” Nora clucked to the farmers wife.
And I’m not even going to try to guess what “Cluck Cluck” means in Chicken. I’ll just say that she said it with a nasty tone in her voice.

“I wonder where her nest is?” said Lanna. “It must be huge so it shouldn’t be hard to spot.”

“Cluuuuck…” relied Nora. “In the human coop”

“Do you think the farmer will eat it or will let her hatch it?” continued Lanna, somewhat oblivious to Nora’s “Cluuuuck” remark.
Chickens don’t have big ears so she may not have heard it. Not like elephants. They hear everything with their gigantic ears. Just in case you didn’t know that.

“I don’t think the farmer will eat it” replied Nora. “Eating eggs is gross”

“True” replied Lanna. “But some animals eat eggs”

“That’s just an old wives tale” replied Nora.

“Say, why did the horse cross the road?” asked Lanna.

“Cluuuuck…” replied Nora. “To get to the other side.”

“Oh yeah, that makes sense” said Lanna.

“The sky is falling” she continued.

And they both started laughing again..

The life of chickens is filled with deep thoughts and laughter I suppose..
Farmyard chickens story

“Does anyone know how to get to the store from here” Maligo asked as he stood in the crowded elevator of his apartment.

“Yes I do” said the first person to speak. “You have to take a left at the corner and then you must hail a cab. The cab driver will take you exactly where you want to go.”

“No, that’s crazy talk” said the second person to speak. “Go right to the bus stop. The number thirteen bus is the only way to get there.”

“You people shouldn’t even be giving him advice” said the third person. “If you aren’t proficient in getting to the store by your own means then don’t offer advice.”

“I concur” said the fourth person. “Only someone who has been to the store on foot knows the correct way.”

“Well, I wasn’t talking about going there on foot” said the third person. “I’m talking about riding there on a bike. But walking would work as well.”

“Or taking a car. I drive there” said the fifth person. “If you haven’t driven there , biked there or walked there you shouldn’t talk about getting there.”

“They think that they are something special just because they have got there using something other than the bus or a cab” said the first person to the second person.

“We’ve been to the store way more times than you so don’t even talk to us” said the third, fourth and fifth person.
“Give use $5 and we’ll help you get there. We can draw you a map that shows you exactly what you need to know to get to the store in the quickest possible way.”

“It’s always about the money” chimed in the first and second person. “Why should you have to pay for that information when it’s freely available.”

“Because it will save him time and mistakes so it’s worth the money”said the first, second and third persons.

“Again with charging for what’s available for free” said the first and second persons.

“Both of these groups are full of crap” chimed in a sixth and seventh person. “You need to stop listening to any of them and find your own way.”

“Well,” said the first and second person. “Who are you going to listen to.”
“Yes,” said the third, fourth and fifth person in unison. “Do you want to buy our maps or not.”
“Don’t listen to anyone. Just hunt for the store in your own way” said the sixth and seventh person.

When Maligo left the elevator the groups were still arguing.

“Hey, Maligo want to go with me to the store” said the building maintenance man.

“Sure do,” said Maligo.

And off they went on his motorcycle..

Do you ever wonder about all the conflicting advice you are getting?